August 27, 2011

Week 33: Straw Hat Pizza




“Genuine California Pizza”...  That was the tagline on the pizza coupon we received in the mail this week for a new restaurant that opened in our area.  Having never heard of this style of pizza before and being the pizza “aficionados” that we are, it seemed like a logical place to check out this week.  It turned out to be date night with my daughters and we were off to Straw Hat Pizza.  
My mother once told me if you can’t think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  In order to avoid the shortest pizza review of the year, I’ll attempt to provide as much detail as possible.
Straw Hat Pizza was awful.  Even my 4 and 2 year old wouldn’t eat it.  The entire experience was terrible.  Except for week 9 at Crooked Crust in Denton, Straw Hat Pizza takes the prize for the worst pizza this year.  While I wasn’t expecting award winning pizza going into the evening, nowhere in my mind did I fathom that it could be that bad.  The pizza at Straw Hat makes Ci-Ci’s and Domino’s taste like five star dining.  
The dining area appeared to be well kept, and each table booth had a flat screen TV installed (although there was no way to change it from Hurricane Irene coverage).  There was a game room in the far back corner fully equipped with 3 video games circa 1992.  The restaurant did offer a full bar, but there wasn’t enough beer on tap to make Straw Hat’s pizza taste good.  The pizzas were priced a little on the high side: 12” One-Topping for $13.  The menu did offer 13 different “Master Pizzas” which increase the price by roughly $4.  The crust comes in 3 styles: California, Pan Pizza, and Gluten Free.  I did not specify a crust selection during the order, but I believe we were given California crust.  The crust tasted and looked like your basic grocery store frozen pizza crust (Not “self-rising”). Their website defined the crust this way; “California crust is special, it’s a layered, flaky crust. It’s airy and crispy on the bottom, yet bubbling on top. It has a cracker-like crunch, and is never soggy or limp.”  It sounds to me like the marketing department needs a raise, and it is obvious they haven’t actually tried the crust themselves.  The six California cheese blend was slightly burnt throughout, while the “secret recipe” sauce is a secret I don’t want to find out.  

The Final Report: 4.0 out of 10
Long story short...  You have been warned.  There are countless things that I love about California, but the “Genuine Pizza” served up by Straw hat did not make the list.

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